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Eataly: Abundance Trumps Quality

8/14/2015

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Eataly crowdsEataly draws the crowds.
I remember when Eataly opened 2 years ago in 2013. Then, my good friend and fellow budget foodie Nina and I both worked at the Alternative Energy Company. Our co-workers raved about Eataly in hushed tones. The serious engineers that worked there needed peace and quiet so we all whispered, huddled in cubes and hallways. Hence the hushed tones. I read snippets about Eataly here and there and thought of Eataly as Iron Chef's Mario Batali's enterprise to shill exotic specialty foods to aspiring foodies like me and Nina. But our office co-workers loved Eataly and its abundance of every manner of Italian specialty food from A-Z. Three spacious floors bursting with all manner of food: jarred pasta sauces, bottles of wine, cured meats, artisan cheeses, select produce, fluffy baguettes, bags of pasta, plus 23 restaurants featuring different food themes for all. There was the kid friendly restaurant serving pizza and pasta, the Piazza serving charcuterie and Italian sashimi and a veggie friendly, adult version of pizza/pasta. What's not to love?

Thanks to Nina's gift card, we finally make plans to check it out one Friday night. The Eataly experience begins upon entering straight into a large emporium, packed with people. Lots and lots of them from diverse cultures, backgrounds and ages milling about in a confused frenzy. Some shop for that night's dinner, weaving their way through the crowds with grocery baskets. Teenagers and tweens giggle and gossip between fancy jars of condiments and the fresh olive bar. Aspiring socialite types and corporate climbers vie for wine tasting samples paired with food samples, waving their "passports" to get a stamp. Nina and I immediately consider indulging in the wine tastings and figure out the "passport" scheme. A la carte, those little wine/food samples feel spendy at $4 per tasting. Who is going to spend $4 on one tasting or even $20 for 5 tastings? It would take a serious recon of all the wine/food samples around the store to figure out whether the $45 all-inclusive "passport" is a good deal. 



We came for a decent nosh, not just a bunch of teeny bites of cheese and sips of rose, white, sparkling and red. Undoubtedly clever and cute, the passport suit the corporate climbers and aspiring socialites needing wine education to cultivate their status. Status is not our issue at the moment as we still need to peruse the joint and get an idea of what appeals to us. The din and sheer abundance of food induce an odd vertigo. Eataly is just overwhelming. Somehow I pull myself together and remember the other restaurants throughout the store. It is not my first time here but I dined at Baffo the upscale restaurant downstairs and missed the true experience. We wander through the lovely produce (artfully arranged in a wicker basket for a rustic feel.) Nina tells me about growing radicchio in her garden and I indulge in visions of snipping fresh lettuce leaves from the live plants. We leave the produce and wander through more passport wine/food samples, the cured meats and cheese section and pasta. 

We happen upon La Piazza and check out the menu's offerings. A bus boy materializes almost instantly to pour glasses of ice water. But we are not ready because we have not checked out the other options. We continue to the pizza/pasta place, which is packed and definitely not for us. Pizza and pasta rank low on my food priorities with their nutritional nightmare of refined carbohydrates and fatty dairy. The other restaurants require too much of commitment with $25+ priced entrees and much higher-priced wines. We want to try as many dishes as possible in a leisurely manner. So we circle back to the La Piazza and order a round of Pino Grigrio and some pickled vegetables, roasted beets and a white bean/artichoke pate. The pickled vegetables are more mild than tart but the flavor is good. Same with the roasted beets, these are also mild and well-prepared. The Pino paired decently with all the dishes and Nina and I set to noshing and catching up. 

We drain our first round of white and decide to go for a red. Time for food round 2 and we are not ravenously hungry enough for a meal. Cheese and charcuterie are always so much fun to eat. Each cheese, each slice of charcuterie offers a different flavor sensation. Washing down each nibble with sip of wine that pairs well tops off the epicurean experience. Good cheese and charcuterie boards add specialty, often house-made pickles, savory grain mustard and a sweet jam to add additional flavors. We attempt to order our own assembled cheese and charcuterie plate but the waiter insists on selling us the Chef's Specialty . We back down, not wanting to argue over the din. It really does not matter, especially when we are still catching up and sharing. I really wanted that Speck, one of my favorite charcuterie not included in the Chef's Specialty. The Chef's Specialty had Ham, Sopressata salami, Cotto Proscuitto, Proscuitto di Parma and Mortadella. We order some cheeses, Tagelio, Pecorino, Gorgonzola and Ricotta. 

The cheese and charcuterie board arrives while we are deep in conversation and we wait for a bit to dig in. When we do dig in, we realize we have forgotten what each charcuterie and cheese looks like. We can easily identify the Mortadella and I notice the particular color of Proscuitto di Parma and the salami edges of Sopressata. The cheeses prove more difficult: which one was the Taleggio? It's anyone's guess but we identify the Pecorino, Ricotta and Gorgonzola. It looks promising but the first bite of Mortadella tastes tired and not too fresh. Imported Mortadella from Mariano's tastes better even after a few days in my crappy dorm room refrigerator.  Every bite of charcuterie thereafter takes a nosedive, the Ham and Cotto Proscuitto are dry, the Sopressata borders on gamey (again, packaged Sopressata from Mariano's tastes better!). The Proscuitto di Parma is the only decent cured meat but still not great. It made me wonder if the waiter felt pressure to pawn off old cuts of cured meat to reduce waste. All of it tasted old and dull, except for the pungent gamey flavor that I hate. 

The cheese fared little better in our assessment as they lacked any kind of character. Why couldn't we get the fresh stinky cheese and eaten it at home in peace? I recalled that pungent, sharp and wonderfully stinky smell from earlier when we perused the cheese section. We never quite figured out which one was the Taleggio but whatever it was, it tasted flat, almost chalky. Same with the other one we never quite figured out, that one was soft and bland, a squishy nothingness of processed milk fat. The Pecorino and the Gorgonzola were decent but again, not better than a good specialty cheese from Mariano's for a better price. At least the red wine has settled into our stomachs nicely and we pick half-heartedly at the board. We are satiated for now and ready for the rest of the weekend. The check arrives and induces the usual sticker shock. Budget foodies must make the best of financial constraints and Nina's gift card really helps.  

As a cornucopia of Italian based specialty foods, cooking and wine, Eataly offers something for everyone. The dizzying array of people and food guarantee a sensation of abundance. "All things food" sums up the Eataly experience and raises my hopes of finding those elusive white anchovies I ate in a Caesar salad over 5 years ago. But the ghastly charcuterie and cheese board left me with the impression that my former co-workers fell for the hype. "All things food" comes close to being a Jack of all trades and missing the mark. Quality does not lend itself to being spread thin. Nina and I plan to try one of the nicer restaurants at some point and hopefully it will taste worthy of the hype.
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